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Linda Ways

Asking for prayers for my friend nephew (Lopaka) who went into a coma and now on ventilator (related to CHF; He lives in Atlanta, Georgia.. His mother (Leanne ) is taking very hard..We have to trust and know God is a healer…. Thanking our Lord for all things . Linda

Received: March 13, 2023

Anonymous

Would you marry the love of your life if your parents told you that they would disown you if you do so?

I did love my parents and they were against my love. I was engaged, 19 years old, going to university. One day they told me that if I won’t obey them (my parents) any more they won’t take care of me any more. Lucky for me I had a good scholarship, and I used to give most of it to my mom for my support. But when they tried to force me to live by their choices, not mine, I started to pack up to leave them. Then they asked me to stay. I ended up making my condition to stay. They had to allow me living my life, making my choices. I married my loved one and we were very happy for 64 years. He died two years ago.

So yes. If my parents would disown me for not allowing them living my life, I would let them. It would be their loss at the end.

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Yes. My mother hated my husband when we first got engaged she was furious, and got the whole family against me. She wrote in her Christmas card asking friends and family, basically our whole guest list, to pray that we split up.

Now... she didn't disown me or tell me she would, but I don't think it would have made much of a difference at that point. I moved out, got my own place. I even delayed the wedding so we could do a church wedding rather than the destination wedding we both wanted. Though I do think the delay was a huge mistake on our part. It was nice to have everyone there, but I would have rather had that extra time with my husband.

Now that we have a child and another on the way... she denies she ever said anything contrary to our relationship. Honestly, I think I'd rather she disowned me sometimes, because she never once apologised for how she acted, and many of my family members still think I "went crazy" during that time based on her lies. I like having her there for my kids, but I will never forget that she originally wished for me to never be with their father.

Absolutely.

I don't need my parents' approval to survive in the world. Me loving someone should be enough for my parents.

If I were in love with a known murderer or psychopath, their concern for my well being would outweigh simple disapproval.

I'm assuming you're not in love with a terrible person. If you are, listen to your parents.

However, your parents are attempting to control you the only way they can, if you're an adult, with money.

I wouldn't ever take money over my husband. He's priceless. you er to decide what's more important to you, money or love.

Have you ever been disowned by your family for marrying someone who was of a different race or religion, and did your family ever finally come around?

What is it like to have a parent threaten to disown you if you don't break up with your significant other?

My father is going to disown me because he disapproves of my boyfriend. What do I do? What can I do?

Did it. I don't regret my decision to stand up for myself. I am an adult (was then too), and capable of making my own decisions. Apparently, in this instance, I am also capable of being Wrong.

Sadly, they were right about her, and i wasted many years trying to make an impossible situation work. I'm not mentioning specifics, except that she is 12 years older, and over time it proved too much.

Fortunately, I was never totally disowned, and my parents did come around after a while and try to be supportive. The relationship just never went right after the initial phase. Thankfully, they've been tot

I would disown anyone who threatened to disown me for any reason. Anyone.

Emotional blackmail by anyone, even those who claim to love you, is completely unacceptable. No matter how much it hurts they have to go.

If they came and gave me well a well reasoned argument, explained that it...

Yes, I would say to them to go fuck themselves. Nobody is going to tell you who I can marry.

Disowning a kid for that it’s really bad parenting, maybe they could not like her because I’m too dumb to see that she is bad girl if its the case. But a good parent would stay there and try to show you that you took the bad decision, if they left and leave there, there are bad parents and it surely comes from their educations.

Have you ever been disowned by your family for marrying someone who was of a different race or religion, and did your family ever finally come around?

My husband and I have been together since 2008…..

My parents did not approve of my relationship and eventual marriage to my husband (another race and religion).

Once my dad referred to him jokingly as a “negro”, which wasn’t very nice. He also told him to run around the backyard so he can use him for target practice. My mother started a rumor that he had “made the moves on her” and everyone was really mad at him. I confronted her and asked her why she said that and her response was, “I just don’t like him”. They also moved 1400 miles away because they could not take me being married to him and the problems I was having being married to him.

My sister took 11 years before she met him and the first time she has spoke to him on the phone (when he called to let her know I was dying in the hospital) she told him, “I don’t want to fucking talk to you, I want to talk to my sister!” and she hung up on him and did not give my parents the message that I was dying in the hospital and they got mad at him for not letting them know.

My ex-brother has banished me from his family since I married my husband. I am not allowed near him, his family, or even his house. No explanation, it just happen to correspond within one month of me marrying him.

My parents, sister, and ex-brother are all idiots and don’t matter.

My children, grandchildren, and many other family and friends love him and that’s good enough for us.

Now, as far as HIS family goes. None of the women (except for 1 or 2) like me and have referred to me as “fat”, “crazy”, “shameful”, and “lazy”. I am not any of these. Well, I am overweight but so are they!! I have never been invited or welcome in my husband’s family’s home even though they have stayed plenty of times for weeks on end (without an invitation) at my house.

So, yeah, you could stay I’ve suffered some persecution being married to a person of another race and religion.

Addendum…my sister has come around, apologised, and likes him now. Get out the balloons and noisemakers.

My parents weren't going to disown me but they both were against the wedding. My father threatened not to come. They were worried about my age because I was young and they didn't know my fiancé well.

However we married and are celebrating our 22nd anniversary today.

My parents threaten to disown me if I marry my nonmuslim fiance, what to do?

Understand that you will most likely live longer than them. When the day comes when they are no longer around, you will have lost them and your fiancee, crying bitter tears that you gave into their selfish, controlling manipulation!

You are an adult now & must make your own decisions. And you have the freedom to do so since you are not with them. What I would do is write them a letter & tell them: “ We both have choices. I choose to marry the man I love and have a happy life. You have the choice to continue to be in my life when I do this or never see me & your future grandchildren again. “

Don’

I think that I would. However, I did not have parents who interfered with my life decisions, so it is hard to be hypothetical about this question.

If your parents are objecting to your choice, I think you should try to understand why. They may have legitimate reasons that you need to consider. If their reasons are really just about having control over you, then I would give their opinion less consideration.

Haha, they say that like it scares me one bit. As long as I have this functioning brain, they disown me however the fuck they want.

emotional blackmailing is never okay.

What would you do if your parents didn't accept the lady you love for marriage?

I was married twice, and my parents disapproved of both women that I was going to marry. I ignored them, and I did what I wanted to do. I’m an American after all, and that’s what we do. We use our freedom to allow us to be as stupid as our heart desires.

With my first wife, my parents were right and I was wrong. She was horrible for me, and I had a miserable life during the 14 years that we were married.

But with my second wife, I was right and my parents were wrong. She was a wonderful person, and I had a wonderful life with her during the 21 years that we were married. I swear my parents loved

Should we get married against our parents’ wishes?

Your question is :

“Should we get married against our parent’s wishes?”

The word “should” is what makes me feel uncomfortable.

It would be great if we all get married with the approval and support of our parents.

If they don’t approve, we must ask and find out why and what the issues are.

Those issues must be addressed if possible. Or else they must be persuaded to give their approval by explaining in detail why you want to marry the particular person only. You must have a sound case.

If they are not persuaded, then wait. Don’t challenge them right away or rebel.

Give them time to come around to your point of view. In nearly all cases they are well- intentioned.

If you are absolutely convinced you are right then you must be firm and refuse to consider any other alliances they might try for you. If necessary, wait for one or two years also. Some parents will resort to emotional black mail. They will plead poor health and warn of premature death if you rebel and marry against their wishes.

This is quite common. The answer is to say, you will not marry any one else and remain single all your life till they allow you to marry the person of your choice .

Most parents will yield after some months when they see that resistance is of no use.

But before you go against their wishes be sure that you can survive without their support. It makes no sense if, as a boy, you bring home a girl to live in the same house as they live in. You must be able to have an independent establishment of your own. Besides it is not fair to your partner if she has to live with people who have not approved of her.

Usually, in most families, time solves the problem. How long will parents stay estranged from their own children. Indian parents have this weakness. They like to “own” their children even when the children have become adults. They like to dictate career choices, and marriage choices too and can’t get used to treating their grown up children as adults with a life of their own and with a mind of their own.

I have many times quoted Kahlil Gibran’s poem on this subject.

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might

that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Received: March 12, 2023

Anonymous

Dear God,

Thank you for all good you have done for me and my future and forever husband. We are very grateful for your blessings everyday life and can't wait to be together soon.

I'm fed up of hearing about my painful childhood every Sunday. As Gran always brings my past up and I don't like it. I'm angry with the constant housework and stagnation happening.

This started by me saying "Your only happy when the boys (Males in the house) find love and not happy whenever girls find somebody special. I'm not saying this to start drama but it's the truth, let me explain below.

Me

As you all know that I love Daniel very much and hope to marry him soon. My family had gave me a very hard time for loving a man of my choice. The love that he gave me was literally a fairytale love and been amazing.

I was forced to hide in the bush, read everyone's number plates and always on edge.

My older girl cousin

She found love with her boyfriend of 3 years ago and known he had been the one God sent her way. They both went to a place of worship said "You two will get married" and she was sure of it.

He is a different caste where my family look down on it. My girl cousin had tried to explain that her boyfriend's family don't believe in the caste system. She spoke in a calm, mature, civilised and dignified voice about this. She just got shouted at and had to lie she isn't with him.

My younger boy cousin

He is able to bring his girlfriend of 6 years over and has been spending time with the family for almost a year now. She is more liked in the family, than me as I got called "a burden" and always doing the housework.

They are able to go out everywhere together, holidays, dates and presents.

This results in me having to sit in a small room as can't sit in the lounge. It made me think about somebody who I used to talk to. How she would sit in the room, as to have no choice but hope things got better for her.

Just not with Daniel's presence or expense there.

My older boy cousin had got annoyed with finsing out that my older girl cousin had been dating somebody of a lower caste. He had got angry, then later he understood as also dating somebody of a lower caste and is also 4 years older.

He has been with her for a year or 2 years, not sure but he want to marry her. As I got told that by somebody today and nobody really tells me anything.

Then yesterday I found out that my uncle wants to get married to the woman who he loves. Even though Trinity is a Christian name, as I know there is a church called "Trinity Church" near my college.

Don't get me wrong I'm happy that my uncle had found love and wants to settle down. As he couldn't do that 11 years ago due to circumstances happening and how he deserves a break.

Of course he does, yet I'm angry with the fact how everyone had to crush me down for being in love with Daniel. Yet everyone else can build themselves up.

Then I got told "If you had found a nice man, who is the same religion and caste as you. What we would do is to find out more about the family and see if he is good enough for you. Then we can decide whether the wedding can go ahead or not.

That's just not right or fair, I will never be attracted to an Indian man. As I had never had good experiences with them because people would just "assume" that I would have an arranged marriage.

What happened to everyone having a right to marry somebody of their own choice? This is literally in the Human Rights Act 1998 and wish they could take it more seriously.

I can't believe how everyone thinks that my life path has to be chosen for me. Literally everyone outside of the house, apart from mum and Fluffy know that I love Daniel very much. He shows me more emotional love than any man in my life did.

Whenever everyone was arguring or misunderstanding, I couldn't just get in my car and say I'm going to be with Daniel. As to have that time to switch off and someone to console me. I had to deal with the arguments, not being heard and my voice not being valued.

All I wanted and needed is Daniel to be there to hug me and keep me safe. To have Fluffy with me because it's not fair on him listening to everything. He is just as innocent but I couldn't have that.

So many people who I know are all supportive and understanding of my love with Daniel. That we will have a wonderful marriage together and everything will work out for us.

I'm fed up of having to keep secrets but been put in no position. As everyone else apart from mum would start arguing and saying "It's not right to be in love with someone outside of your religion" yet God made human beings.

No religious book says "In order to follow your religion, you need to hate another religion what had upset your ancestors."

By the way, my uncle is getting married next year and hopes to get a place with the new woman he loves. I hope that me, mum and Fluffy are able to get a home soon. Since, we will just be forgotten about and just have to clean up after everyone else.

I have also made a list of people to invite to my wedding too and forgive me it won't be many family members. As deep down they will never support me but deserve to be happy. That's why I'm part of racial Injustice project, as I get unfair treatment for loving Daniel. Get made to feel bad, even though I'm respectful to my religion and there for everyone.

I don't want to spend any more days cleaning up after everyone else. Housework is not a good enough reason to force two people apart and it's not seen as embarrassing.

Since, me, my older girl cousin and older boy cousin are seen as "shameful and embarrassing" for loving a person who isn't the same caste/religion.

This type of thinking is what caused racism to happen and it shouldn't have to be like this. Please get a long term change for me, I'm fed up of hearing my painful childhood past every Sunday.

Received: March 12, 2023

Anonymous

For my recently separated little family consisting of myself, my boyfriend and our daughter. For my 4 year old autistic daughter who’s having meltdowns and trying bile sleeping.

Received: March 12, 2023

Anonymous

Maths Prayer

Dear God,

Thank you for all good you have done for me and my fiancé- Daniel (My soon to be, future and forever husband) we are very grateful for your blessings everyday life.

I always found Maths hard but recently started to understand it better now. As to cut out the negative people and making sure to discipline myself with revision. Every night possible, as I would like to pass the whole of my Early Years and Childcare Level 1 course. As do know that I'm more than capable of doing this. Since I passed my GCSE English, 3 years ago.

Also I would like to progress onto Level 2 Early Years and Childcare or Health and Social care. This won't be possible if I'm not studying or asking for help. Can't let negative people get to me or listen to their rude comments. Thinking I'm in capable of this when not.

Today I had came up with a positive and uplifting comment what helped me alot. "I'm not just dreaming about having a beautiful relationship and marriage with Daniel. (My then unknown future and forever husband at highschool) now I'll be making a future with him. Since working hard for my GCSE Maths to pass in the summer. Really do pray that your blessings everyday will be poured onto me. So I can pass this with a SOLID GRADE 4.

Please allow me to have any opportunity possible to allow me to revise for Maths. As I really do want to get married to Daniel, support myself and help the health care and child care sector out. Every time I'm in Maths or revising it, I always see double numbers. Hopefully this is a "yes" to God - you accepting my prayer request and to finally pass GCSES Mathematics next summer.

I trust your divine intervention and know that you will bring everything together in your timing.

Thank you.

Received: March 12, 2023