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Thank you for this day…it was a good yet odd day.
It was a good day because I visited a woman that was my supervisor during my internship. It was fruitful and we discuss about a possible project. To be short it seems that really all things are connected because it all began because I found a connection to my thesis. I ask you in Jesus name to guide me and give me the opportunity to do it and be motivated and successful as it would give me the opportunity to fulfill my biggest dream ever even if in a different way as I expected.
The guy for the job was polite. He said maybe in the future but I guess it was a nice way to say no. I know it’s the best thing for now but maybe we will actually work together in the future who knows…well you do. Thank you, I don’t like to say no to people.
Well…regarding saying no. I lied to one of my best friends. Instead of saying I won’t go to her dinner party full of strangers because it makes me anxious I found and excuse. An excuse different from the one I mentioned before (she didn’t say anything about it) and it will be difficult to not being caught. I am sorry about that because it is a sin and also a going back to my adolescence but I really didn’t know how not to hurt her as she doesn’t understand my anxiety and social skills lack. I ask in Jesus name for forgiveness of my sin and also help to not ruin a friendship that is going on since kindergarten but that is now seeing a bad time.
I read today that new seasons begin with new friendships and I believe it is so as I began to hang out with this new group. On Thursday I will see them and I am happy because they seem all I wished to have in a friendship group. I really hope this friendship will grow and that they will actually be a nice group of people as they seem now.
I asked you confirmation that something would happen today or confirmation that I should move on. I got many signs regarding the first and none or maybe one for the second so I was really expecting my blessing today but nothing happened.
So now I am wondering if I ever got signs and confirmation from you. Maybe I did receive signs but I totally misunderstood them. Maybe I suppress your voice and follow my will. I don’t want that. I really want to have a strong, solid, neat, clear relationship with you. So I ask in Jesus name to hear clearly your voice and guidance and that you block thoughts and things that aren’t yours and that are leading me the opposite way of what you want for and from me.
And if this is really a beginning of a new season I ask in Jesus name that in this season I find my future husband and begin a relationship with him and that your heal grandma and dad and that I finish my studies.
In Jesus name I ask and pray
Amen Dear heavenly father everything seem stuck, it's seem all dark.
God have mercy on me , guide me and let there be light in my every path.
Ur a God of second chance, may your will be done in my life and that of my kids in Jesus Christ name.
Come through for me oh Lord and speak to my situation , in you alone I put all my trust .
Amen Dear God,
Thank you for all good you have done for me and I'm grateful for your blessings everyday life.
You know what hurts me the most, is that the people who I thought actually mattered to me betrayed me. Along with Daniel's mum and stepdad who I felt very let down by.
As they are from a generation where telling the truth is just part of their life and core values.
I'm very disappointed, hurt and heartbroken by some of the people I will list down below ...
- Beth
- Chelsea
- Aaron
- Zoe
- Morgan
Then of course Daniel's mum and stepdad too. 🙁
I wake up every morning, recently I had noticed how my eyes would just sting every morning. Like I've been crying, I just want answers for what Daniel put me through and not wanting a normal proper, stable stick together throughout everything relationship with me.
You know why I'm so upset with the people I've listed. As they trashed my beautiful relationship with Daniel, I would never trash other people's relationships with their special person. For my own benefit and satisfaction, as that not right.
The reason why I'm really upset with how Daniel's mum and stepdad put him in no position but to leave me. As my family always made me do the housework, you know I felt like I never actually got an answer for what happened. Or an explanation with why I had to go through this.
I wouldn't of walked away from Daniel as his mental health got bad.
Also I just feel that they will never truly understand because I don't have a man watching over me. A late boyfriend, fiancé, husband and ex boyfriend who truly loved me until the very end. A man who built a life with me, known and remembered for loving me until the very end.
Along with that it's not like any of their families told them to be apart. They get to celebrate their 10 year anniversary together, whether that's their relationship or wedding anniversary.
All I wanted was to be Daniel's safe space in this dark cruel world. To be the woman who he had truly loves, his face would light up when I walked into the room. His best friend, his true love until the end, the love of his life (From 18 years old) and his soulmate.
Instead a beautiful relationship between the only man that I ever truly loved had been trashed.
Now I want to explain, the reason why I'm angry at Aaron and Zoe is that I haven't even met them. In person, yet they had done all of this stuff, taking advantage of what happened first time on 1st June 2018.
To say comments as to get Daniel into trouble and keep us part.
While Aaron and Zoe had got together on 14th May 2019. At my expense of keeping me apart from Daniel, I still find it hard to get out of bed. While they get to be with the person who they truly love, each other at a young age. - 19 and 20.
So they are able to celebrate their ten year relationship anniversary with each other by the time they turn 29/30.
Chelsea had set me up with a guy in November 2017 but that was forced. I did learn my lessons and be a better woman for Daniel. (Well I thought I was anyway) and didn't let people get involved with our 'relationship' but somehow it was all trashed anyway.
Beth had been a friend to me but I found out that she was also responsible for making things up. To join the tribe to get Daniel into trouble with his mum and stepdad.
Also, she would look at other people's boyfriends and want them for herself. She wouldn't care, I knew she was like that and didn't want Daniel to fall for her things. Yet it felt like he just didn't want a normal relationship with me.
I noticed that Daniel had told Beth about the loss of his first girlfriend. The woman who he truly loved, as he told Beth first and not spoken to me all day. It weren't until Beth mentioned it, so clearly Daniel just didn't want to tell me he already had happily ever after with his first love.
Morgan had also been joining in with the comments and making things up.
All these people are responsible for trashing my beautiful relationship with Daniel. After waiting so many years for having everlasting true love until the end. That none of the pain and heartache would matter, as Daniel had finally wanted me.
Yet all the people responsible all get to be with the person who they truly love. While I had to be punished for something what I didn't cause. I didn't ask for this, yet it's me who is getting the pain.
Not to mention that I had to miss out on having everlasting true love until the end. I should of been the happiest woman alive. To celebrate what should of been mine and Daniel's 5 year anniversary on 16th March 2023. It should of happened to me, nobody ever gave me a chance to keep him in a relationship.
I've been robbed from having a great relationship with Daniel. Nobody understands how I feel because they haven't been put in no position but to leave the person they truly love. Along with housework defining my life.
Nobody thinks about me and I had to deal with all of this by myself. It's been a long, dark and cold 4 years. As nobody understands how I feel and missing out on having everlasting true love until the end.
I hope that my future and forever husband will be a better man than Daniel is. Along with his family accepting me for who I'm truly am and proud to have me as his fiancée and forever wife.
As don't want to be all on my own and wasting my life away being on hold for a man who chose Victoria Secret models over me.
I hope that all the people who have trashed my beautiful relationship with Daniel are happy and proud of theirselves. As they are able to be with the person who they truly love and have a good quality of life with their significant other.
This is for Daniel, his mum and stepdad, Aaron, Zoe, Chelsea, Beth and Morgan. Hope your all proud of yourselves and allowing me to go through never ending pain.
When I would NEVER have done that to anyone else. 🙁
Daniel I hope that your happy with your new Victoria Secret model girlfriend and purchasing expensive underwear for her. Along with the rest of the women who you had been with.
Never mind the pain and time you have allowed me to go through.
I don't even have a late boyfriend, fiancé, husband and ex boyfriend watching over me in heaven. He took a piece of my heart and love with him, as he took his final breath. To think about how I had made at least one man truly happy until his final breath and promised to love me until the very end.
Unlike being disappointed by people who I thought genuinely been there for me.
As I have stinging eyes and cry myself to sleep without any answers. While everyone else gets to be with the person who they truly love.
Pray for good medical test results, no cancer and help with my anxiety. Prayer for all of my financial needs fir this month December 2022 and January 2023 to be met, I am currently unemployed and I know God will provide my rent money and everything thing else.
IJN
Amen
Thank you Lord in advance Prayer for all of my financial needs fir this month December 2022 and January 2023 to be met, I am currently unemployed and I know God will provide my rent money and everything thing else.
IJN
Amen
Thank you Lord in advance After being a full time caregiver for my former mother in law for 6 years, she has now passed away and now I am in need of a new place to live and in dire need of finances and steady work. The family is selling her house quickly and though looking and trying to seek out all or any solution, I’m still stuck here and becoming afraid. Please pray for me. I am going through a really hard time and my wrongdoings have caught up to me. I am in need of strength and confidence that the Heavenly Father will get me and my family through all of this. I pray that things work in my favor and I can continue to keep my job and provide for my family. thank you God for everything I come into agreement with anyone praying for their marriage or family and special blessings for you who pray for me and my marriage and may your prayers be granted too Dear Daniel,
Why do you keep moving on and sleeping with the Victoria Secret models for? Yet you can't even explain to me about the pain you have put me through.
Just give me answers, then you are free to purchase as much Victoria Secret underwear (Other brands too) for every woman you date and sleep around with.
I can't believe that you would have to lie about your parents putting you in no position but to leave me. Why can't you just learn to tell the truth for? As you moved on as soon as you left me. Yet I couldn't and still find it hard to get out of bed because of what you have done.
I think you have also got a bit confused too because you mistaken me for your first girlfriend. The woman who you actually loved because you was willing to stay with her in a stable, stick together throughout everything type of love for 2 years.
Now you have a woman watching over you, who you had made your dreams come true and done everything. While I don't even have a late boyfriend, fiancé, husband and ex boyfriend who passed away before meeting you.
As I don't have him to think about, remembering him and knowing that I made him truly happy until his final breath.
Instead I have to think about what could of been as you have wasted 4 years of my life. What should of been a 4 year successful relationship between us and so many happy memories.
Yet your willing to take photos with your Victoria Secret model girlfriends and post them on Facebook. While you couldn't even take photos of me and be proud of me. I know that we couldn't post it on Facebook but you couldn't even be proud of me.
You get everything, a man who was it all and I had to miss out on a good quality of life.
Why can't you just tell the truth? Instead of prolonging the pain I'm in. As you look down on me for not having a man watching over me in heaven. So you don't have anyone to compete with or worry they are going to have my heart.
I hope that your new Victoria Secret model girlfriend makes you happy. I have been praying that things get better but you just love Victoria Secret models more than a woman like me.
A woman who had genuine good intentions for loving you. I can't believe that you even asked Joe for advice on where to live. Even Joe can keep a woman longer than you can - 5 years. As he told me that you should learn to tell the truth. Clearly Joe has grown up more than you and yet you exchanged tips on how to ignore me.
Why did you make me miss out on having everlasting true love until the end? I'm not getting any younger and you get to treat Victoria Secret models to underwear, while there are people out there who are struggling to pay their bills. Due to the cost of living going up.
You can't even speak to me and I feel trapped.
I don't want to be your replacement for what you lost. Also, I can't believe how you have lied thinking that I'm the woman who will be your last girlfriend. While you have thousands of women, ex girlfriends scattered throughout the country who you have dated and had sex with.
Yet you don't care, think about the way I feel.
The older generation have been brought up to tell the truth. As that's a core value and principle they have. I'm absolutely heartbroken and crushed that your mum and stepdad had made you lie about things.
When all I wanted was to genuinely give you love and be there until your final breath.
I hope that your proud of yourself and that your one thousand ex girlfriends scattered throughout the country are proud of you.
I never thought to be saying this 4 years later, as really did convince myself that it would be happily ever after. 🙁 Martina
Received: December 5, 2022
Anonymous
Received: December 5, 2022
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Received: December 5, 2022
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