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Thank you for this day. It was a calm day, also good since I studied a little. But I am so tired, I need to sleep and rest. Since I know I must study I feel so guilty to rest...
Lord today I pray once again for a blessed relationship (my God sent), health of my loved ones, peace and focus and that you reveal to me my next step or whatever and that you show me the areas of my life I need to work on and surrender to you.
In Jesus's name I ask and pray
Amen Dear Future and Forever Husband,
Can't believe how I'm not even allowed to drive. As it's too late for me to have this now and really did convince myself it would finally happen to me. As I wanted to be a strong, brave and independent woman who is able to drive. To see my 'boyfriend' and make a lifetime of memories. Since that has been robbed from me I don't have the chance to live a good quality of life. As everyone trashed my life and dreams I had. I really do wish that my future and forever husband is able to drive. That he will always take me places and is a safe driver. A man who is truly devoted and dedicated to me now and until death do us apart. Why hasn't God blessed me with a man? I really want to get married.
Can't believe that everyone else gets to spend time with their special person on the weekend. Yet I can't get over the loss and pain of missing out on what should of been a successful long term relationship with a man. It's me who had to miss out, as I'm not the good enough one. Who can drive, have a job, 'boyfriend' at a young age and do everything. I just want to get married to a man soon so I can live a good quality of life. Not a boring life when that was taken from me as it was out of my control. God please I want to get married within the next 2 years as don't want to wait anymore. As to lead a good quality of life as I've been robbed from having everlasting true love until the end.
God please let me get married soon. I want to come home to a man every night who is happy to see me and always show me love. To have a better quality of life and to do things with. I want to be a man's princess, his first and forever wife where things are finally going to happen to me. I've been waiting 13 years for a man. You took away the only man who I ever truly loved and everything I had wanted to do with him. Yet other people get to live an enriched life. Getting married is my only thing have left and nobody is listening to me. Why can't you bless me? Yet you bless everyone else and I want to be happy. I don't remember the last time I felt truly happy as missing out on a man's love.
You know that so many people told me that true everlasting love will happen to me. Then I found a man who I've been praying to God for and is everything I ever wished for. Yet that was robbed from me and trashed before me. Yet I didn't even do anything bad and other people think they are always in charge of my life. Now I can't even find love because it was robbed from me. Other women get to celebrate their 10 year anniversary with the same person in their 20's. While they was taken from me like I'm in the one in the wrong. Why does nobody think I'm capable of keeping a man? When nobody gives me the chance and it's too late for me to have a 'boyfriend' as I wanted to celebrate my 10 year anniversary by 27.
Nobody cares how I feel, otherwise certain people who say they are genuinely there for me. Yet make me do the housework after other people, don't even listen to me. All I ever wanted is a man's love, everyone is else gets it so easy as they aren't me. To still have life left in me, I'm so fed up it's me who is missing out on this good quality of life. Other women didn't have to worry as they were able to celebrate their one year anniversary with with someone who deemed appropriate age to call a boyfriend. As they were able to afford a card, cake and other things to help them celebrate their anniversary. Living a good life and I should of had that but it was taken from me. My heart breaks and everyone is able to be happy with a man.
You know yesterday one family member had asked me why I'm upset. I did try to explain as to see if they would listen but didn't. As to just think that as I'm 'vulnerable' and to see me as someone who may be in a domestic violence relationship.
I remember spending time in prayer saying to God "Touch wood and God forbid he ever hurts me in any shape or form. That he will always look after me because I genuinely love him and need him in my life." As tears roll down my face every time because all I ever truly wanted is a man's love.
I hope that you will have a DBS background check from God. To know that I'm safe to be with him and that you will never hurt me. That I'm your happily ever after and we get married soon.
Can't believe how little I get seen as. No sadly there aren't very many nice people who have good intentions. As I know more than anyone but can't think that all men are the same. There are good men out there and can't think negative. (All the time)
I don't go out clubbing, drinking alcohol, wine, sleeping around with thousands of different men and wearing sexy underwear from expensive shops like Victoria Secret, Victoria Secret pink, Calvin Klein and Beau Avenue. Along with that I don't give myself out to anyone but wish to have a chance to be a good woman.
The thought of becoming your first and forever wife gets me through these dark days. As I have to clean up after everyone else and can't go out without watching my back. Even though I'm not doing anything bad and can't defend myself. Got told how I weren't born normal due to having different personality traits to others.
Not being able to defend myself or have a man to defend me. I'm not going to rinse you out with money because I want to do well at college. I have so many big dreams for the both of us and your truly all I ever wanted for every birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's, Easter and every other special occasion. Just life it's self.
Really do pray that the next Prime Minister lowers the cost of living and taxes. As then your able to afford everything and we can be together.
I love you so much forever and always from your future and forever wife. ❤️
thank you God for everything I come into agreement with anyone praying for their marriage or family and special blessings for you who pray for me and my marriage and may your prayers be granted too Hi there. Please can you pray against these withcraft attacks. Its really heavy as I know my breakthrough is near. Thanks alot. I need prayer for so much right now. First, I need prayer in my workplace for peace and complete restoration, I'm praying for all the employees that are going through, what they are going through and for myself. I have coworkers, that continuously keep my name in their mouths and I don't bother a soul there. I'm wrong for just breathing, I guess. Secondly, next month is repossession court for the home I live in now, I pray that we are not evicted and are able to keep our home. Third, please pray for peace and togetherness in my family and home. Last but not least, please pray for my pastors' and close friends' healing, and financial blessings, as for myself, I pray for a closer walk with the Lord, financial blessing and healing. In Jesus' name, I do pray. Thank you father for you grace and mercies. Thank you for another day! Thank you for all that you’ve done for me . Cover me under your blood and protect me from all harms and dangers. Lord provide for me ! Keep me close to you. Cover my relationship, let my husband fall in love with me every single day. Lord make me a better wife. Cover me under your blood. Amen I just want to thank everyone who prayed for my during the deadly spider bite episode. God healed me, and it was not necessary for further surgery. My medical team was stunned. God is the same God and He is famous for healing the sick. Thank you Jesus. I pray that God heal everyone reading this message. You know when I was at school, no guy had wanted to 'date' me and had hated myself. It felt like nobody wanted to date me because I'm Indian. I weren't ever ashamed of this but got so sad, upset and heartbroken that I still didn't have a proper relationship with a man.
It's not that I was ashamed of my religion, culture, history and heritage. Along with everything what India had done to give me, others and other countries a good life. I'm proud of that and always embraced my individuality. As I was always the odd one out but didn't let that get to me.
Now no man wants to date me and other people in my age group are able to have a life time of memories with their one man. Yet I haven't even got that to look back on and just want a husband now. I want to get married soon because I want a man's love. Since I was robbed from celebrating my 10 year anniversary in my 20's. Even though I really did convince myself that it would finally happen to me.
Of course I'm so genuinely happy for those beautiful women who are going to be celebrating their 10 year anniversary in their 20's. They are so lucky and I really did convince myself it would be me. Can't even drive a car and other people have so many proud accomplishments to say they have done in this age group.
I'm so heartbroken that I've had to miss out on a good quality of life with a man. Dear Daniel,
Your so lucky to have been given the chance to make a woman happy until the very end. As to wine and cheese her with beautiful gifts from God. As you didn't have to worry about inflation rates and able to treat your special person.
I never had that chance with a man, thought it would of happened with you. Lived a long time together being all happily in love and married.
Yet you didn't even want that with me because I'm Indian. These feelings have come back to light and only feel like this. As no man didn't want to have a 'relationship' with me or keep me for 10 years in our 20's.
When I was at school it got to a moment where I hated myself. As no guy wanted me to be his girlfriend and other women had been given the chance to have this. I got so upset, angry and stopped speaking to people.
Some of the people who been my friends had to help me. As I was so upset with not having a man, I even got so angry and jealous with other women. The teacher's had to explain things to calm me down. As they could see the sadness in my eyes and the type of comments I were saying.
It was nothing malicious just wished that it would happen to me. After that I wouldn't of got as annoyed and angry because I was working hard to get into my first college. Focused on that, looking young and beautiful with spending time with people who are my friends.
Then I met you and thought everything was finally going to happen. Yet you didn't even want me and it's me who is heartbroken, lost and missing out on having the chance to celebrate my 10 year anniversary with a man.
I can't believe that you didn't want to have a 'normal relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend' at 17. As to celebrate our 10 year anniversary at 27 and 28.
You robbed that from me because you just think I'm not a good enough woman. As I don't have a dead man watching over me - a late boyfriend, fiancé, husband and ex boyfriend who loved and built a life with me. Before he passed away.
I don't want to have a boyfriend anymore and want a husband. My first, future and forever husband who actually loves me with his whole heart. Yahweh I cry out to You today asking that you cause my husband, Taj to hear and heed Your voice and repent (turn towards) You. Bring him from the north, east, south and west. Let victory ring out amongst us as we began to declare…that which was lost has been recovered, that which was stolen has been returned and that which was broken has been made whole!
In Yahshua’s name AMENMartina
Received: October 22, 2022
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