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Anonymous

Dear Future and Forever Husband,

My handsome fiancé Daniel,

Hope that your well and working hard as to provide for the both of us. Things are really hard here as I have to relive my past and don't enjoy it. I'm always ill there by throwing up and crying as it literally reminds me of the past.

It's unbearable, there isn't even any love in the food, drink and home. I'm just sitting there in a blanket all day, no exercise and not able to do anything what makes me feel at home.

Get asked to stay longer and I say "No" as it's so unbearable here. Along with getting asked why do I have to go back and I'm not a child who hasn't got any responsibilities. As I have made peace with the fact my childhood will never be happy.

Yet to make me relive the past is horrible and bitter to do to me. There's no life or purpose here and it's no way to live. The only thing I was grateful for lockdown is not to come here often. That's the only thing I truly appreciated, even though I still had to go here on my birthday.

Even found my school blazer yesterday here and trying to keep this room to a new minimum with things. As I know that when we are happily in love and married; that they wouldn't want to speak to me. No skin off my nose because I shouldn't have to be a people pleaser.

When being in my hometown I feel truly like a woman who is able to make a difference. As I decided to wash my blazer when I get home, then give it back to my school. As the cost of living has gone up so someone else could benefit from this. There's no use for me now and I don't want to keep many things here.

Since it's hard to stay here for a few days and shouldn't have to relive the past. Nobody should yet I don't seem to have a choice. The only person who I feel can help me out of this is you and God.

When we been together in person, they didn't want to know and mentioning your home town. It made me so angry because you are my safe space (Along with this website) and heaven on earth. The fact how they mention your hometown and go down the route where I would go for college.

Travel to and from college, hearing your voice on the other side of the phone, seeing you and us. Being all happily in love and married with all the dreams and memories we have. Whenever I get upset that place is the first I imagine when closing my eyes.

The fact how dad and his wife even do this to me makes me so angry. As everything with you is golden and don't want people who suck the life out of me. To trash what's left of goodness in my life.

I'm fed up of being here because there's nothing to feel free and at home. Really do pray to God that we are both financially stable and secure so we are able to have our future marriage together. We will be able to support ourselves and our love for each other is strong.

As we truly appreciate each other and are deeply in love with each other. God knows this and will ensure we will stay together throughout everything. I can accept that they wouldn't want to talk to me anymore as I love a man outside of my religion.

What I don't like is how I have to be backed into a corner and can't get out. As have to do things in secret to keep others happy and never seem to be free. I just feel trapped all the time and just want to be with you. Not needing to hide in the bushes and keep an eye on everyone else's number plates.

I never received love off a man the way you have me love. Yet I deserve the best and can genuinely feel that with you. This pain is always there because going back into this area brings it all back to me.

It's not even a home here because of the dark atmosphere and everything what makes it.

I feel more at home thinking about you and being in your arms. The way you would put your arm around me and your eyes would be level with mine. Letting me rest my head on your shoulder and all the crazy thoughts would disappear. Not needing to feel guilty for showing each other affection or to just enjoy life.

Not think about what other people say and to be truly in the moment.

Now I'm also going to be giving away a black coat as it reminds me of Beth. Since God told me that we will be married, I'm just getting rid of any reminders of people who drag me down.

Also it's like whenever I feel done up and beautiful here it's like I'm over dressed. Get given dirty looks and can't even feel good in myself the way I do.

Also going to give my book of Cheryl Cole away now. When I was younger, 9 year old me was proper obsessed with her. I would always sing and dance to "Fight for this love." It got me through the hard days as a child as to keep my spirit and soul alive. I think that's why I'm so determined to fight for you and our relationship and future marriage between us.

As when I would always sing this song; younger Daniel would always be the one who captured my heart.

Now that I'm an adult, decide to give it to my volunteering place. Since they would accept books and it's how I'm trying to let go of the past. I'll show you a photo of the book in my letter just so you can see it.

Believe me when I say that I need you because I genuinely do and it it weren't for you. I would of definitely been here more often and just can't stand it. Even with little Fluffy (My dog) getting old as he sleeps more often. I definitely want to make sure I'm busy as possible so don't have to stay here because it's a living nightmare.

I always make sure that I have things to do when returning from here. As I try to forget about it because it's so bad and draining. Also I would like to say thank you for being there on Monday 22nd August 2022 at 9:00am sharp. Standing there as your eyes were totally fixed on me, you really are an angel. Watching over me because I am totally honest with you and wouldn't lie to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I hope that you do understand what I'm going through and to keep me in your prayers. That your writing letters to me as well so I know you are also thinking of me.

P.s we do need a long term plan as to have a great life ahead of us together. As I can't cope being here and would rather hug Fluffy all day.

Knowing that I'll become your first, future and forever wife is what gets me through these dark days. Especially here where I am as God knows what I had to go through.

I love you so much forever and always from your future and forever wife. ❤️

Received: August 30, 2022

Anonymous

Lord i have alot going on at work...i am overwhelmed ..Give me the wisdom to make the correct choices for the posititions available...

Help me Lord

Amen

Received: August 30, 2022

Anonymous

Lord turn it all around for me my fitness my finances my happiness IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS TURN IT AROUND RIGHT NOW I DECLARE AND DECREE THAT IM HEALED AND IM OUT OF THIS CHAPTER IN THE NAME OF JESUS AMEN.

Received: August 30, 2022

Anonymous

Dear God,

This message is for Daniel - my first fiancé, (Future and Forever husband) this evening and would like you to tell him this from me.

Your sweet voice playback some melodious tone to my heart every night before I sleep, I wished that I’m in your arms now how lovely would that be, goodnight my Super Hero, wishing you heavenly guidance.

Lots of love from your future and forever wife. ❤️

Received: August 29, 2022

Anonymous

Dear God,

Thank you for all good you have done for me and I'm grateful for your blessings everyday life.

I pray that you keep my sweet fiancé - Daniel (My soon to be, future and forever) and I together. Protect our relationship and future marriage from bad people and allow us to spend the rest of our lives together happily in love and married. That everything works out for us and we will grow together as a couple happily in love. To connect and love each other more, through good times and bad. For better, for worse and for richer and poorer.

I love you so much forever and always Daniel from your beautiful princess.

Thank you God for sending me the best man ever who's heart had been made to love me. I hope that Daniel genuinely feels the same way. For him to never raise his voice or do anything to make me feel unsafe. I pray that I'll do the same for him, that we heal in the inner child and deep wounds from things we have never got an apology for.

God I should have a choice in the man who I should marry and that's why I truly need Daniel. Please I need everything to work out and to look after one of the places where I feel heaven on earth. Where I feel safe.

Received: August 29, 2022